A handful of teachers from a nearby school visited our school last week. The men were well-behaved.
As soon as I sat down at my desk in the staff room, a large woman from the other school strikes up some conversation with, "How long have you been here?" Her second question is, "Do you have a 'motho'?" Meaning, do I have a girlfriend, wife, whatever. Yeah, I said, I do.
"Where is she?"
"She's around."
"Where?"
"Around here."
"Aaah, where is she?" the woman complained.
"Nah, I don't have one."
"When should I visit you?"
Damn, I knew that was going to happen.
"Where do you live?" she inquired further.
"Around."
"Where?"
The other teachers were listening, two from my school and two others from the other school. We were speaking in a mixture of English and Sesotho. I had a class to get to, a convenient reason for exit, but she wasn't going to let me go that easily.
"What will we do when I visit?" she asked.
"I don't know."
"What do you like to do?"
"I like to herd cattle," I said. But no one laughed.
"At night. When I visit. What can we do?" she pressed.
"Read."
"No. We must conserve parrafin."
"Sing."
"Something more exciting," she demanded.
"I don't know. I have to go to class. I'll think about it," I said.
After class it started right back up. "So what did you think about?" she asked. "What can we do when I visit tomorrow? You said you like big girls, right?" Another female teacher from that other school overheard this and entered the room.
"I never said that," I said.
"Do you like them like this or like that?" said this other teacher, indicating the choice between her slimmer self and the original large one. I refused to answer. She approached me. She whispered, "Are you shy? Do you fear women? We're offering you two here for free!" She said that last sentence loudly. Then she gave me the ultimatum: "Big or slim?"
"Winter's coming. Go for the flesh!" campaigned the first one.